Talking to Stargazers

cir·cum·stance - noun

1.a condition, detail, part, or attribute, with respect to time, place, manner,agent, etc., that accompanies, determines, or modifies a fact or event; a modifying or influencing factor: Do not judge his behavior without considering every circumstance.

The circumstances of life define who we are, and what we become. Not definitively. We do need to use circumstances to our benefit. However; if we do not have to opportunity for some circumstances, we have no way to grow from the experiences that they create. If I had been afforded other leisure's in life, the circumstances of my existence would have changed, and therefore would have changed me.

For instance, if i would never had met Rocky, I would not have had some of the life experiences that I have experienced with him. If the circumstances had changed. Say; I wasn't proficient in Microsoft office, so I hadn't tested out of it, I would have been on time to class, and would not have been seated next to him.I would have been early, and knowing me, I would have seated myself somewhere nearer to the center of the room. A neutral position. Or If I had not been walking through the hall in HS that day, like I wasn't supposed to be. I never would have found the postcard to inquire about the school. Suppose I had had friends in HS and hadn't needed to find someplace solitary to be alone during lunch time? I would still possibly not have some of those friends that I made in college. I may have not attended that school. Suppose I'd not had my tooth broken when I was in the 2nd grade, Perhaps my peers would not have made fun of me, and I might have been able to make friends because I wouldn't have looked like a freak. Suppose I'd never moved out of Barstow to Wisconsin. Suppose I'd never fallen out of the car and had to go to the hospital? Suppose that lady at the campground had never bought me a pair of $100 shoes. What if I'd tried harder at some things? What if I'd been more outspoken? What if I'd been a little more confident? What if I hadn't been so insightful? What if I paid attention to the what ifs and continually looked at what I could have done different? Then I wouldn't be who I am. This contemplating the past thing takes on a real snowball effect, and barrels in on itself. It calls for pondering after pondering of what could have been; if only. Which is useless, You can not change the past. You can, however; learn from it. I'm glad I made the decisions I made in life. Some things, in retrospect, I wish didn't have to happen for me to learn, but I don't regret anything. I am grateful for my circumstance. I intend to take each circumstance as a gift and be who I will become.