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Recently, in one of my more vegetative states, I found myself perusing Netflix in an attempt to entertain myself. What I stumbled upon that day; still has me thinking, nay; it has me pining for dance once again. The Australian TV show Dance Academy is the only thing that caught my attention that day; so I proceeded to watch 12 episodes in a row. It made me remember all those feelings I had towards dance and ballet, and had me questioning why I stopped. I can't for the life of me come up with a good enough reason why I would have. Only reasons that are blaming others for my own misfortunes. Granted; they were legitimate reasons. But if I had wanted to dance as much as I thought I did; those reasons wouldn't have prevented me from finding a way to do it. So what was the actual cause of the discontinuation of my passion? Probably the same reason that plagues me to this day to make anything of myself or keeps me from obtaining any sort of passion. I simply don't believe in myself. I don't actually think I'm capable of being good enough at something to pursue it fervently. The deep and foreboding feeling that no one will think I'm good enough, or that I simply won't be more than mediocre circumvents the desire to want to accomplish. The hope that is fueled by the passion is squashed my by low self esteem and those who would see me fail. So in the end it is ultimately my own fault. No matter what anyone said to me so that I didn't feel good enough, worthy enough, or special enough; I didn't pursue it. I let their words get to me, and now only I have nothing to show for it.
So perhaps now, the recognition of this, today, will help me to change? What I can do today is choose to be better than someone else may think I am. And if anyone says that I can't (Even me) The first thing out of my mouth should be "Why not?"
I'm not actually a fan of wasting time. I do appreciate the enjoyment of time. However, I do find myself continually back at the wasting bit. It's probably a good thing that my newest time waster was designed to be child friendly, and in being so; only has so much available for the obsessive time-wasters personality. On the Marvel Super Hero Squad, the most I can do is visit each of the 4 zones, and do each daily mission, as each of my current 5 characters. You may be thinking; that's plenty of time being wasted. But let me assure you: It could most definitely be more than that. My next goal is to gain a 6th member of my squad. And this is no small task. As far as I can see; the only way to gain more members is to buy them. And the only ways to buy them is to win enough gold on the wheel, or spend enough silver. And my daily wheel has already rendered me all the gold I can get, as well as some extra silver. The only way to spin this wheel is to spend tickets, and you get tickets from dealing with the antagonists in each of the four zones... I HAVE HUNDREDS of Tickets!!! And then you collect those translucent white stars, and 10 of those white stars earns you one more silver. The issue here is the bad guys and the white stars return so frequently that it's neigh impossible to pass something up. "OH! Just one more flame guy." "Just one more bubblegum machine." "Just one more UFO." Do you see how this could drag on?
Now we come to the point. I will eventually get board of doing this. With only 2 different missions, to play only 2 different ways (without friends online) there is a limit to how many times you want to repeat the same old same old. So: I've logged off for today. But I will most definitely be back at it again tomorrow. Why? because there's a daily mission that changes every day. That daily mission, as well as finding specific daily things for each character in each zone has me hooked. MY GOSH! it's only day 2.
Why is it that the 'weight control' oatmeal from Quaker tastes like butter? I picked up, and ultimately purchased this specific variety pack because of the flavors on it. I wanted Banana Bread flavored oatmeal. Is that too much to ask? I wonder if they made them taste like butter to give those people who would normally add a pound of butter to their oatmeal the kicks they were looking for, without the guilt of a pound of butter. Then again, maybe it's just gross. But seriously; I now have a box of oatmeal that I'm disinclined to eat because I don't want a bowl full of butter flavored mush oats. I will probably end up eating it... maybe add some fruit to it or something. Good thing it keeps... I will NOT be partaking any time soon.
I know that I've been trying to be healthier and that some food choices may need to be denied for that purpose, however; I am certain that had I missed this; I would not be in the elated mood that I find myself in. This! This, is amazing... Yesterday, Puddle made some chili, which was really good. Perhaps you saw the blog; Mr. Peanut and I grilling up some hot dogs, which we topped with the delicious chili. While we were doing this; Mr. Peanut and I were joking around and came up with Mac'n'ChiliCheese Dog or ChiliCheeseDog Mac... So today, when Mr. Peanut made us Mac'n'Cheese with Hot Dogs and spinach, I thought of it again. Now it's about dinner time and I am combining these two great delicacies and have Mac'n'ChiliDogCheese. Tadah!!!! And I must say; It is so very tasty. Just enough of this and bit of that. And it wasn't hard to make. Equal parts of the chili and the mac'n'cheese, 'tis tantalizing my taste buds. Nom nom nom. That is all for now... after Dinner; I'm going to figure out my screen printer. Yay!
I don't know if the old wives tale is true or not, if it is in fact, just an old wives tale, but this post is being written in that delicate time frame between eating and swimming. I'm not really concerned about the wisdom being truthful or not. I just determined that now was a great time to write a blog. Besides; if it is true... I'd like to choose the healthier option. Don't want all that previous healthy to go to waste. Fish, asparagus, and yellow squash at least seem healthy to me anyway. This choice for staying away from the pool may also be accompanied by the fact that today's bathing suit choice is a bit teeny weenier than I would have desired. Alas; I am doing laundry and the Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini is the only one left to wear, that technically fits. Yes, it is my size. But it's a very small swimming suit and not one I'd desire to be seen in public in. I know the pool is only in the back, and it's the middle of a weekday. But still... one can't be too careful. Maybe the trees are spies and wish to humiliate me in the midst of my sunbathing splendor. Yet; I still do plan to go out and swim. And whilst I dry off, perhaps I can finish the last 5 chapters and Epilogue of the book I'm reading. Then perhaps, I will also be able to review it in it's entirety today on Literary Van. That would be good. This would also invite me to start reading the second book in the King Raven Trilogy; Scarlet. Plus... Avalon is a great book so far, and I cannot fathom how he's going to wrap everything up in the last few chapters, being as it stands now. Eeek! So Exciting!!! Okay, enough of this, time to step out of the locker, I'm headed to the pool.
Recently, in one of my more vegetative states, I found myself perusing Netflix in an attempt to entertain myself. What I stumbled upon that day; still has me thinking, nay; it has me pining for dance once again. The Australian TV show Dance Academy is the only thing that caught my attention that day; so I proceeded to watch 12 episodes in a row. It made me remember all those feelings I had towards dance and ballet, and had me questioning why I stopped. I can't for the life of me come up with a good enough reason why I would have. Only reasons that are blaming others for my own misfortunes. Granted; they were legitimate reasons. But if I had wanted to dance as much as I thought I did; those reasons wouldn't have prevented me from finding a way to do it. So what was the actual cause of the discontinuation of my passion? Probably the same reason that plagues me to this day to make anything of myself or keeps me from obtaining any sort of passion. I simply don't believe in myself. I don't actually think I'm capable of being good enough at something to pursue it fervently. The deep and foreboding feeling that no one will think I'm good enough, or that I simply won't be more than mediocre circumvents the desire to want to accomplish. The hope that is fueled by the passion is squashed my by low self esteem and those who would see me fail. So in the end it is ultimately my own fault. No matter what anyone said to me so that I didn't feel good enough, worthy enough, or special enough; I didn't pursue it. I let their words get to me, and now only I have nothing to show for it. 
