You don't have to say you love me just because I have.

There a lot of things that I want to say allot of the time. But I never seem to say them. I think I don't say them because I'm afraid of what the other person(s) will do in retaliation, or how they will react. If it's not what's expected of me, will I be shunned from them? Then there's the idea of: if they react badly, maybe they're in denial of the truth. Or if I find out I'm wrong, I'll have to apologize. I don't think this is coherent. Maybe it's that there's a part of me that doesn't want to summon disappointment in me, or for others. I don't want to loose what I have, or for circumstances to change for the worse. I think it's funny that some people like about me, one of the things that I fear to do, because I do it. I suppose that I do do it sometimes, and that is where the reputation comes from. But I am only able to do it when I think I know what the outcome will be, and I perceive it to be positive. And of course, I can say whatever I want here, and not worry too much about what I've said, and how it was taken. Until I feel the retribution of someone's feelings getting hurt or what not. 

I can give advice, and tell those who ask for it, what is what. I can direct people on the path they should be on when I feel that they won't blame me if it goes wrong, or if I'm sure I'm right. I can help other people with their problems. the problems that for myself I'm afraid to ask about or fix. Because I have those same problems that others have. But I don't take my advice and act on them as I say they should. But then, do I really know what it is that I should be doing. Or am I merely attributing the scenarios as being the same? It must be true that we as people, see in others our greatest faults. Maybe that's why I can be so helpful. I see in others what I would fix of myself. 

I really should try to go back to bed. But I couldn't sleep then, that's why I'm up. 

Why are true feelings so hard to communicate? Why can't we tell people that their life decisions might be detrimental to their future? I know if people where more honest, I might not have been in some of the predicaments that I've gotten into. But then again, I'm odd, and usually ask for advice where it's not given. I don't want everyone in my life to please me. Yes, I'd like to be pleased some of the time, but what happened to hard knocks? Why can't anyone tell it like it is? 

I can't tell it like it is, because I'm not sure of what it is. But I can tell what I perceive. And I can be wrong.