Bad Thoughts Made of Too Much Time;

This thought process takes me by surprise every time is assaults me… and I don’t pay it too much homage.

I think I have a pretty eclectic personality. And I’m pretty much the same person around everyone. Maybe not a few choice members of my family; but that’s just special cases. I don’t flirt. At least I don’t think I do. I just am. I try to be as real as humanly possible, while still being human. And some people find that to be an easy personality. Some people even like it. So here’s my bad thought… brought to you by over thinking. I might be the ‘perfect’ girl, to a point, for lots of different people. Now, out of that; how do I know who I’m supposed to be that perfect one for? How do I choose? Physical attraction? Intellectual stimulation? Who has the best toys? Who has the best hair? Who passes the best compliment? Whose bank account is largest? Not that any of these reasons are really a reason to choose. This might be a leap of blind faith. Or maybe I’m just supposed to be able to filter out and find the one that’s the most genuine. But then, since I can’t be inside anyone else’s head to know what they’re thinking of; How can I make sure what I choose isn’t just settling? I told you this was a bad thought… That thought leads to the thought of; what if I choose, and then whomever I’ve chosen changes their mind? They discover I’m not as perfect as I seem. Where will that leave me? This is part of the train of thought that makes me be the way I am. No false pretenses. I am what I am. But what if what I am turns out to be glitter that rubs off… and that’s the other had; What if I’m just the one that’s good enough to pass boredom with? What if I’m the one that they’re just settling with?