What I'm going for right now is just thought vomit, so bear with me.
Should I stay or should I go now? I think that I could stay there. But then What am I doing with SoulShoes? I don't think I'll be able to find work in my field either here or there. My portfolio sucks... So bad! I'm not really qualified for anything. I can't even get a job in a bar. I'm so lame. I have that stupid bar tending class under my belt, but even the job placement people don't want to help me out. I want to Make RMI a real reality, but I've no gumption. And I'm full of fear. What do I do about Latin Steve Ruiz? If I go tomorrow, that'll be awkward. I'm missing the DM Christmas Party because the Caddy's being ornery. She won't start. I still think I should give her a name. But I can't think of a good enough one. A name worthy of the Caddy. And if I do come back here, I'd need a car, and a place to live and a job. If I stay there, I'd need a car, and a job, and a place to live. Same either way. I have good Non-christian friends there. and I have good non-christian friends here. And why did Moose re-request me as a friend? That means he was looking for me to realize that we weren't anymore. What is that about? I was thinking we were good with not being friends... I don't really want to deal with all that again. Even if I still think of him as a friend. And What is with SallieMae? I don't have enough money. I don't/didn't make enough money to live and pay them. and they don't seem to communicate with each other. asking for money on top of money on top of money, even though I already paid them. 187 days are not in two weeks. I could work in a library. I've always wanted to do that. But I'm probably not qualified for that either. I just want to be able to get by. Make the world a better place. Sing. Create. Gah! ... My arms hurt. It's cold. I finally have a bestie that thinks the same of me. And now I'm leaving. I'm seeing this really really great guy.... humpf!
Little known fact about me; I've never really thought/dreamed about my wedding. Yes, I've stated that before. and that's not the little known fact. The facts are; I've always thought I would just be best friends with someone, and we'd end up getting married. I would essentially marry my best friend. In Vegas. Yes, Vegas. Or something similar. Elopement I guess. But then I start thinking about ceremony's and it gets so convoluted, who would I invite, who would I tell? Where? Why? what would I wear? It gets to be too much that doesn't matter yet because it's not happening, and I shut down. Whatever.
Chew on that for a while. I've run out of words in my head. It's just going round and round... I'm sure there's more, but it's nothing pertaining to anything. Not that anything I say here really adds up to anything in the grand scheme of things.
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