There is a school of thought that says I am just a crazy girl with no clue. But that school is wrong. I have a clue. I just don't know what to do with it.
I don't really know what it is I'm hoping will happen. I need a job. Not just need; NEED a job. Some sort of income. But I'm not wanting to 'sell out'. I'll take something working with design, art, music, books, or items made in the USA. But I can't do just any retail for money because of my conflict of interest. Poopy. I want a real job. But I'm soooo unqualified, and un-confident. I'd even do bartending. I mean; I did take that class. But I'm not outgoing enough to look for a job on my onesies. I could be outgoing, when I know what it is that is expected of me. I don't want a nothing job again. I want something I enjoy, or at least has some sort of purpose. Music is good. I have no idea. I could get by with a little help from my friends, but this is SoCal, and connections into anything aren't easily made. Chit! How my mind does wander... I hope it comes back soon. Helps me out. relieves me of this stressful circle of what to do's. How to be's. What am I thinking's. I don't think I'll ever be motivated enough to make my dreams a reality, because I don't have a concrete vision of what they are. I mean, my dreams I have when I sleep are more vivid than my life's at times. That is surely not helpful in the least. Plus, I just don't know how it's going to work out. At All.
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