I don't know what's more embarrassing: the awkward hug given to the Asian friend this evening, or the fact that I cried in my car because I couldn't get the key to turn. Have you ever had one of those days (weeks, months, etc...) where everything just builds up on you, until you finally break. Well, the ignition not turning for me was that small break. But I didn't let it break completely. So I still feel numb. Just lots and lots of little things piling up until the damn bursts and who knows what will happen then. Oh well. I have really been trying for some time now to really not let the little things get to me. But what with the family I have, and other stresses of life lately, Plus my relational standing. I'm bound to crack hard core. I've been holding up considerably well for me. I do believe that it's been a real transformation, and I don't think that what I've let go of will resurface at all. I do; however, think that the distance is doing a number on the vocalization of many ill thought confessions. I suppose I'll let them out one day. But then again, maybe not. I'm keeping them in for reasons known only to my psyche. I don't think I could truly figure them out completely without stepping on toes and interfering with someone else's train of thought. But then again. maybe that's what it takes.
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