Name Changing Blues

I have been thinking about this since long before we got engaged... it's going to be a real pain in my ass to change my name. Not just for legal reasons, but for personal reasons as well. I don't go by my first name, and haven't for at least 8 years. I go by a variation of my last name. That's my current last name. And I've always known that I would change my last name when I got married, but I never envisioned it being a last name that I disliked so much. So I, myself, am having trouble wrapping my head around not going by my current nickname anymore (which in and of itself is already a hassle to explain to people), and going back to my real first name (which people butcher so much, which caused me to go by my nickname in the first place). I could keep my nickname and hyphenate my last name with his last name, but my current name is already far too long as is. I have 2 first names, a long middle name and a two part last name, and his last name is actually longer than my current last name. So fully written out my name is currently 28 characters long. If I change it to his it will be 30 characters long. If I hyphenate it will become 39 characters plus punctuation. But that's not even the real issue. The real issue is I don't want to go back to my first name, but my nickname will no longer make sense. "It's short for my last name." will no longer suffice. It'll be: "It's short for my maiden name." That'll give 'em all goggely 'you're a crazy one, aren't you' eyes. *deep breath* Am I crazy? Is there a way around this? Or am I just going to have to go back to my first name and have people butcher my name for the rest of my life... "Thank you so much for letting me know I'm pronouncing my own name wrong, I had no idea it's pronounced the way you just said it and no the way it's been said for 26 years." Did I mention I don't like his last name? Does that make me a bad person? Can we change our last name to his gamer last name? I like that one.

Which reminds me, I have to throw my online personality name in there as well... CHIT!