So I'm not wanting to just come here today and be all emo. But that may be what comes of this. I often say I have no friends. When I say this; I'm not talking about all of the people I'm friendly with. Or the people who occasionally agree to be seen in public with me... I mean; there is no one that I can just call and do things with. No one who knows me well enough to be called my close friend. In my Webster, there are three definitions of friend; 1. a person whom one knows well and is fond of. 2. an ally, supporter, or sympathizer. 3. A member of the society of friends; Quaker. Close has 2 titles and the first has 11 definitions; 8. intimate; familiar [close friend]. Taking this as my definition... there is no one I feel I connect with on an intimate level. No one is familiar with the real me. There are a few people who are closer than others, but overall; They're still distant. It's not like I want them to be distant. I don't want to be left alone 100% of the time. A close friend could feel comfortable to invade my space at times... A close friend could feel confident to call me out on things that I'd need to be called out on. A close friend might even get my sense of humor, ideologies, theories, tastes, and ideas... regardless if we agreed on them. But no. No one has the time of day to spend on me. I am to remain always forgotten. I am the one that everyone smiles at but doesn't get to know. I am the company you enjoy as an alternative to standing by yourself, until a better option comes along. I am she who sits at home every night until I feel it safe to suggest myself as an addition to the party. I am the one that you may call a friend, but you do nothing to cultivate the friendship for. I don't require that much work... Just talk to me. do something with me every once in a while. and don't act like you're pretending. I don't really know what I want. Poo! (A friend would retort to my saying; Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door... "Chuck Norris could slam a revolving door") That's it; I am destined to be my own best friend. Van and Johanna; BFF's!
21 June 2009
The Ideology of a Revolving Door.
So I'm not wanting to just come here today and be all emo. But that may be what comes of this. I often say I have no friends. When I say this; I'm not talking about all of the people I'm friendly with. Or the people who occasionally agree to be seen in public with me... I mean; there is no one that I can just call and do things with. No one who knows me well enough to be called my close friend. In my Webster, there are three definitions of friend; 1. a person whom one knows well and is fond of. 2. an ally, supporter, or sympathizer. 3. A member of the society of friends; Quaker. Close has 2 titles and the first has 11 definitions; 8. intimate; familiar [close friend]. Taking this as my definition... there is no one I feel I connect with on an intimate level. No one is familiar with the real me. There are a few people who are closer than others, but overall; They're still distant. It's not like I want them to be distant. I don't want to be left alone 100% of the time. A close friend could feel comfortable to invade my space at times... A close friend could feel confident to call me out on things that I'd need to be called out on. A close friend might even get my sense of humor, ideologies, theories, tastes, and ideas... regardless if we agreed on them. But no. No one has the time of day to spend on me. I am to remain always forgotten. I am the one that everyone smiles at but doesn't get to know. I am the company you enjoy as an alternative to standing by yourself, until a better option comes along. I am she who sits at home every night until I feel it safe to suggest myself as an addition to the party. I am the one that you may call a friend, but you do nothing to cultivate the friendship for. I don't require that much work... Just talk to me. do something with me every once in a while. and don't act like you're pretending. I don't really know what I want. Poo! (A friend would retort to my saying; Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door... "Chuck Norris could slam a revolving door") That's it; I am destined to be my own best friend. Van and Johanna; BFF's!
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