I don't know how accurate this is; but they say this is post 150. That seems like a pretty consequential number. But what I have to say may seem a little inconsequential. Only because I wish to remain an inconsequential nobody in most peoples lives. Like I just told my dad. MOST of the time... Most of the time, I don't want to be looked at like a 'girl', I would prefer to be seen as just another person. I think this may be because of the way I was raised. No, seriously. Growing up, I had to go everywhere with my brother. I.E; He would want to go out with his friends, So to ensure that they were good boys; I was sent along. I was also not allowed to go almost anywhere without him. Not such a bad sentence for him, I never went anywhere, because I had no friends. In turn, on occasion, His friends became my friends. I get along better with guys, because I knew how to interact with them better, and I simply have just spent more time with them. So I think I'm more or less programmed to think that way; these guys are my friends, and/or I am just 'Pie's sister' or 'Ent's cousin' and am not a 'sexual' or hormonal threat to anyone.
But alas, it cannot be so. UUUUGH! There's bound to be some guys that let their hormones take over and don't see me as just another person. Poo. Which is fine. Such is life. It's not like I'm completely A-sexual or anything. I've not sworn off the male species as a whole. I'm not a nun. I'm not a lesbian. I'm not even bi. I just don't want to get into that right now. Yes, society, the way that it is right now, has bred this thought process to be thought as insane, not right, or even retarded. But I'm not looking to get jiggy at this point. I want to go out and enjoy my life. I don't need the whole hormone circus to do so. So; if I come across as naive to your moves, or am not picking up on the hints, no matter how blatant. I'm either truly naive to them, or I don't want it. Which both are probably true. Sorry guys. I do want a man, just not yet. And when I have him, he'll REALLY want ME. Call me old fashioned. But I don't see the need for unnecessary heartbreak and complications. As the song says(paraphrased); 'I'm young, and I love to be young, and I'm free, oh I love to be free, live my life the way that I want free to do whatever I please...' (no that I've typed them out I don't think that's exactly right, meh)
And of course all of this is screaming in my mind more clearly now that I'm a lighter weight than I used to be. I'm talking about drinking. I used to be able to keep up with Rocky. Not so much anymore. After 2 now, I really start to feel it. After 4 my mind and stomach are like 'NO, stop!' and then my body acts drunk, but my logic is mostly in tact. In tact enough to say no before it goes too too far. Bad joojoo. (I've never typed that before, huh) If I were completely sober, No guy would try to take advantage of me I'm quite sure. I only say this because no one has in the past. Bad joojoo. Well at least I'm not a featherweight, who knows what would happen then.
I'm not sure I said exactly what I needed to, but I'm pretty sure I made a point.
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