So, I've been thinking allot lately. Now that I'm done with school, what will happen next. I really would love to move in with Eliza, but Her current "rounded guesstimate" price is waaaaay too steep. I cannot continue on driving so far, living in my mom's dining room. It works, but I just can't do it anymore. Another thing I've been thinking about is this; Who will remain in contact with me after all this. I know that the majority of my "friends" that I've made here at school, have their own circles of friends outside of this that I do not fit into. And I don't really have any friends outside of this thus far. Not which are close enough to here. These former current friends are all in the Midwest. This Blows! This stupid place has been such a staple of my life for the past 3 and a half years. I'm not certain how I'll function without all this school stress. And the Rocky and Moose stress. I don't have to deal with the Hedgehog stress... but I've already acquired new stress. Work stress... and "boy" stress, that I really didn't need. So stupid. Which makes me think. How do I get myself into these predicaments? I know that I've already stated that I am a little oblivious to lots of these things. I just don't have them on the forefront of my mind. So they take me by surprise when they happen, And I act out stupidly to them. then I get all confused and overreact to the situation... It's not good. I just want to know where I stand. On whose feet am I? Are we just friends or should I be bolting in another direction. In the words of the Smalltown Poets "each paths growing shorter the longer I stay" In this case. Each choice I make has a shorter fuse to explosion the longer I don't make a decision. MY Gosh! I feel so Stupid sometimes... Why, did I do that? I knew it wouldn't end well. I know that I am also needing forgiveness. I also have no Idea how the other parties will react! Gall Darnitall! All apologies. That's just the way I am.
15 March 2008
I'm dead with deciding, afraid to choose.
So, I've been thinking allot lately. Now that I'm done with school, what will happen next. I really would love to move in with Eliza, but Her current "rounded guesstimate" price is waaaaay too steep. I cannot continue on driving so far, living in my mom's dining room. It works, but I just can't do it anymore. Another thing I've been thinking about is this; Who will remain in contact with me after all this. I know that the majority of my "friends" that I've made here at school, have their own circles of friends outside of this that I do not fit into. And I don't really have any friends outside of this thus far. Not which are close enough to here. These former current friends are all in the Midwest. This Blows! This stupid place has been such a staple of my life for the past 3 and a half years. I'm not certain how I'll function without all this school stress. And the Rocky and Moose stress. I don't have to deal with the Hedgehog stress... but I've already acquired new stress. Work stress... and "boy" stress, that I really didn't need. So stupid. Which makes me think. How do I get myself into these predicaments? I know that I've already stated that I am a little oblivious to lots of these things. I just don't have them on the forefront of my mind. So they take me by surprise when they happen, And I act out stupidly to them. then I get all confused and overreact to the situation... It's not good. I just want to know where I stand. On whose feet am I? Are we just friends or should I be bolting in another direction. In the words of the Smalltown Poets "each paths growing shorter the longer I stay" In this case. Each choice I make has a shorter fuse to explosion the longer I don't make a decision. MY Gosh! I feel so Stupid sometimes... Why, did I do that? I knew it wouldn't end well. I know that I am also needing forgiveness. I also have no Idea how the other parties will react! Gall Darnitall! All apologies. That's just the way I am.
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