I've made my skin crawl too far this time.

There are rational and irrational fears. This may sound like a line from a movie. That's because it is. Several movies actually. But it is true. Right now I am afraid. I am afraid of something that is pretty irrational. I don't think I ever have rational fears. Regardless of this fact though, I am still afraid. I know that things like this scare me beyond reason. I know I should not partake in any sort of activity relating to it. But there are times when I feel it would be rude to say no. Maybe I should just be rude sometimes. I should admit to my wimpdome. I should back out, and accept defeat. Otherwise things like this happen. I get no sleep because irrationality plagues me when I close my eyes and turn my back. If my life were an horror movie. I'd be dead in the first 3 minutes. No joke. I would just like to be able to sleep without nightmares. I don't know how to get to that place. I feel terrible. I feel sick. I can't sleep, I can't even shut my eyes and relax. I want to cry because I know this is all so stupid, but I am helpless to change it. My imagination has every possible evil jumping out at me. This is why I said I don't do them.