Vegetarian of Circumstance

I thought about just updating my status, but I couldn't think of a way to fit this into 140 characters. I am both distressed and grateful for my recent appetite change. I still am unable to eat meat without feeling queasy. But I am also unable to eat my normal portions. I eat maybe 2, 3 tops, times a day. I stare at the options or wander into the kitchen when I'm hungry, and nothing sounds good. So I don't even nibble. This isn't new behavior. It's the; I should eat, that has changed. I think; "I should eat" because it's right to eat or whatnot. So I think about what I can have that is available to me before I even get up to scavenge for it. But then I think about something that would normally sound good, and I get grossed out. So I don't go look. It's not until my stomach is yelling at me and/or eating itself that I venture into the kitchen. But half the time, it still seems unappetizing so I turn around and leave again. When I finally do convince myself to have, say; a vegetable and cheese croissant, I only am able to just eat that much. I know I'm still hungry, but I can't eat any more than that. I like vegetable sandwiches and all, but in this house; meat still reigns king of the dinner table. But the thought of it = Yuck. This is very sad. As far as going out is concerned; that eliminates most fast food joints. and all of my favorite cuisines at said food venues. (the saddest thing ever: I saw a Carl's sign and thought; that looks gross, then almost cried.) I love Cheeseburgers. I really like steak. I can live without eating at Taco Bell again (that fiend that done me wrong.) But I think I'll crumble if I can't go to In'n'out or Carl's anymore. That's really all the fast food I eat besides Del Taco. I eat at Chick'fil'a when I have lunch breaks, but I don't think I can even do Chicken. This sucks! But I am eating smaller portions (not that that was my problem) and healthier snacks (but for some reason I can still eat Oreos (or their off brand equivalent "Tuxedos")). Just writing this about food: my stomach is upset. I am both hungry, but not wanting to eat food. Can I have some pan seared veggies? With a little bit of garlic, butter and salt? Oooh! Wahoos Fish Taco's Banzai Shrimp Burrito... Not sure about the shrimp, but it doesn't sound unappetizing. Too bad the closest one is way far away. But according to some Shrimp, which is fish, is not considered meat... I'll have to explore that thought a bit more. Anyways... The only thing left to wonder is this: will I ever get my appetite for meat back? or will I be a vegetarian of circumstance forever? (and I like vegan food, I just can't afford it, but that's another topic for another time.)