Valediction, Where are you?

I hate that fear grips me. It pulls me to itself and rips me apart. I sinks me down to another level. One I've not known the likes of previously. I am unable to speak. Not letting out what's in my mind. Reasons evade me. I am helpless against it. I scavenge for a purpose to it. I find none but the circles looping me back to what I don't understand. Then I fear the return. 

I am so cynical that this is normal to me. I am so weary that I do not scream out of the pain of it. My eyes leak the un-cried tears for something that is so far gone, I can not name it any longer. Is there hope left? Somewhere? In some space? Will I wade out of this soon? Or be left to rot here for too long a time to state it? My heart cries help. My lips refuse to move. Set in a jut of my jaw. As my eyes leak the truths I still don't begin to understand. Valediction, Where are you?