Not Mine to Know

As the sleepless tears leak from my face I ask myself what they're doing here.
They have no place, they heed no condolences.
I stare at the vibration of words before me, uncomprehending.
My teeth chatter.
My body convulses
My heart hurts
Dear GOD if there is a reason; let me know
Or is it my place to never understand the resurrection of this circumstance.
I shiver and I sigh as the too well known thoughts return.
No!
This is not mine.
I just know it well.