A New Path To Take

Do you know how it feels to know that you're letting someone down? Even before you've told them, or they find out about what you've done? Even before you do it? That's where I'm at. Not that what that person believes should be done is right, but you still don't want to disappoint them. What they think, feel and believe; matters, but you just cannot appease them this time. And this time, out of everything, may be so big that their opinion of you as a person may change... knowing that the dynamics of your relationship are about it change is hard. Especially when you have NO idea how much they are bound to change. And then there's the waiting to find out how they're going to change. waiting to see how that person will receive and react to the news that may shatter your relationship. How will the dynamics between you change? There's a lingering fear and dread there. The aura of the unknown and mounds of uncertainty. It's kinda stressful just thinking about it. People always tell you, it'll be alright, or if it's a strong bond, everything will work out... But things change. Even if it's the strongest bond, some things just can't stay the same. I'm just afraid of how it'll change. I'm not going to try and stop the change. But I'm not going to encourage it either.
On the other end of the spectrum. I feel confident that I am making a good choice, and I do not feel that any amount of reasoning or persuasion will sway me from my choice. Living with a bowling ball in your brain for several months is bound to break a person down, so I am removing myself from said bowling ball situation and choosing something else. I have found the one I believe to be the love of my life, and I am excited to start builiding our life togehter away from the unruly stress that is my current job. I do not know exactly what the future holds for us. I do know the ground is shaky when you're poised at the end of a needle, but together, we can balance out our platform by working together. I love you Mr. Peanut. SWTOR and all.