12 months to opposite it

Let us take a step back to reflect. What has this past year taught us? You may wonder why in November I would be considering the passed year. Because the beginning of how my life changed, started in November of last year. It is now November once again. It most definitely has not turned out how I would have imagined it. I would never have dreamed that I would be living pay check to pay check working as a clerk at BevMo. I wouldn't have thought that I would have had 3 boyfriends. I would NEVER have dreamed that I would fall in love with a boy across a great distance and then have my heart ripped out by him (unbeknown to him). I would not have thought that I'd be considering the consequences and whatnot of an interracial relationship. I did not anticipate not being productive at all in design. I hadn't thought I would be helpless. I was in Wisconsin a year ago, not yet planning on coming back here. Not yet having met either boyfriend one or two. I'd not thought my best friend would be so far away from me and no longer thinking she'll grow up to be a dog lady. I didn't know I'd feel hopelessly depressed at the drop of a hat. I am caught off guard by the amount of emotions that careen through me daily. Who'da thunk that I would be the girl to see a boy's face and be crushed. Who'da thunk I would be considered a 'one of those girls' because of who I associated with. Who would have believed that my social skills would be so dismally vanquished by my lifestyle. But It's not all been negative. I have a boy that confuses me with how much he likes me. Most would be running for the hills. I can not fathom why he likes me so much. I really have no idea. Also; on a lighter note; there have been some good developments. I've been reconnected with my online friends, which contributes to the delinquency of my social skills. I've also got my creative juices flowing again. not in all the ways I'd prefer, but some none the less. I suppose I'll just have to take what life has given me and be happy with it. I just don't want to be the girl in the Pearl Jam song... "She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man." I hope that'll never be true.