Leaving on a jet plane, don't know if I'll be back again...

So, once again, I fall behind. Change is really hard; stress comes easy, but my emotions are all out of whack. I am not sure if I'm making the right decisions. Based on my recent behaviors while under the influence though, I do believe that my making this decision could not harm me. Although it may come across as running away. The first thing to terrify me was the idea of loosing my connection to my music. Such as Indie 103. 1. The Midwest isn't really the best place for my music. I miss it every time I visit there. The second thing I've freaked out about was the pace change. I do believe that I will be able to handle the pace of the Big Apple. It's being so far away from "civilization" or the city at least that I'm not sure about. Of course I've freaked out about other things; and in no particular order I might add. things such as: Leaving behind EVERYOne I know. Sure, I do know people in Wisconsin, but that was more than 5 years ago. I quite certain they've either moved on with there lives, or we're just too different of people now. I am leaving behind my closest friends. I care so much about them, that I dread the disconnection from them. They'll move on, I'll move on. It'll just hurt; A lot. Yes, besides all of my anxieties, I am very excited. I'll record, work on design, and hopefully be accepted to the school of my choice. I just wish I could take someone along with me for the ride. But I feel like I'm pigeonholing myself into what I've feared; becoming useless, insignificant, and forgotten yet again. Now; there are many more things, but this is on the forefront of my mind. and it's all happening sooooo quickly. less than three weeks, no wait, less than two.