Ewie Goowie Muy goodness.

Life is more interesting when you can choose your own toppings. at pizzahut.com you can choose your own toppings, on 1/2 or whole. and the amount of sauce and cheese on half or whole... it's great. But the price goes up because, you have all these fill in the bubble options... all these choices that just look so good one must click them in. I'll take you, and half of you, and a little of you... aaaaand a whole lota you. I was supposed to do the fill in the dot test, with my student, I think. But I have no access to the scantrons... so granted I would forget. And alas I did! I don't know what to do now. I should either get a scantron and have him retake the test... or just fill in his answers from the test. I don't know. Another note... this pizza is good. I want to try that pizza Eliza was Raving about... Mmmm I like pizza. I grew up on Pizza. Frozen pizza granted, but pizza none-the-less. My dad got pretty good at them crusts in our stupid oven. Stupid oven. Ewie goowie brownies on the inside, and rock hard bricks on the outside. That part between the ewie goowie, and the rock place, that's pretty okay... pretty okay.

Meat, Cocktail and a center for ants...

Yesterday was Meat and Cocktail day. Yup... What is Meat and Cocktail day you might ask?. Well, let me tell you. Meat and Cocktail is a day about nothing. It is a day to eat meat, drink cocktails, and watch random episodes of several carefully chosen television shows. I sat on that couch for hours... We started the day with Bacon, then black olives, deviled eggs, and chips and salsa... I know what you're thinking; that's not all meat! True, but we did begin the cocktails at that point. I don't remember what we drank. first there was some sort of red drink in large wine goblets. then some cosmopolitan concoction. followed by some Mexican beer. we had the beer with Spinach Meatballs, and chicken soup. Later, My mom and Mr. Mouse decided to go camping in the backyard, so we went and got a tent for them... then we ate lamb something with rice, and pork chops; (we also had salad, and garlic bread, and something else). We didn't actually watch that much; One episode of Seinfeld, Seinfeld bloopers, One Andy Griffith Show, One of The Office, One of Laverne and Shirley, One hmmm... I don't remember! that's it. All we did that day. Listened to records, pretended to watch football. the Ushe. Now I am back at Pies, His friend leaves tomorrow, and I've just bored to death whomever read this. remind me later, and I'll make up for it in your Eulogy. I would make a wonderful Eugoogely.

If Wine tasted like Martinelli's I'd be a wino fo' sho'

two weeks to go, and I still don't know German. any, really. That's only my fault, I should have been let's say; more proactive in my learning. So, That aside, I am leaving in exactly two weeks. from today. in about six hours. so about six hours and two weeks, I will be departing for the foreign land, I will also see Heather. Yay! Today, was rather uneventful (Thursday, so yesterday... thirty nine minutes ago day.) We had real Thanksgiving again. It'd been a while. We didn't have Green beans or gravy last year, and something else. The year before, or maybe it was the year before that, we went to Hometown Buffet. The year prior to that, we ordered in. LAME. but we had real Thanksgiving this year, with all the trimmings. Turkey, Stuffing, pear salad, yam casserole, corn casserole, deviled eggs(my personal contribution), rolls, black olives, cranberry sauce, gravy, green beans, and mashed potatoes. Yum! I liked it. and as a pre-dinner snack homemade; chips, salsa, and guacamole (as partial Mexicans, we try and pretend). No Martinelli's however. I am finishing off a bottle myself now. but not today. As tradition, we didn't eat dessert. Grandma made pumpkin pie, but we didn't eat it. or the apple or cherry pies. We munched on Friend Lees brownies... but only slightly. and of course, somethings went wrong. this year the big thing was; Muncle Mike accidentally turned off the oven when he set the timer for the turkey. so we ate hours later than scheduled. Not bad though. 11 of us around the dinner table. pretty good. Tomorrow (or today rather) we are doing nothing. We aren't even going grocery shopping. Pie is taking the van and his friend to Hollywood, then to a car show... I am car less... evil! I would pack for Germany, just to see if I have all I need, but i can't do laundry, It costs too much. Oh well, I'll just wear Pj's all weekend. no biggie! I should see if I have anything port worthy, so I don't have to freak so bad next quarter... work on my website, Logo, stationary, resume... all that jazz. hmmm... unless someone wants to take me away from this place. I'd be down for that.

Instead of Toast I want a Tail!

So, Not much has really changed. Pie still doesn't want to give up the car. but he still hasn't given my money back. I should probably just give it up as lost, like all the other money he borrowed and said he'd pay back... {sigh} On a lighter note. We have his best friend here from Minneapolis. He'll be here fore six days. I don't yet know what this will do for our sleeping arrangements here... but we'll see. Pie is also going to leave us in December between Christmas and New Years. I don't know where that puts me... but I'm happy for him. Ruby is not feeling well again... either that or she's just tired, and anti-social. oh well. Shorty is getting all of us into Disney Land tomorrow! I haven't been there since before they re-opened Space Mountain. So I haven't been on Space Mountain since, ... hmmmm.... 1992? Let's go with that. I would have been 5-6 years old then. But I do remember it. I hope it's as great as I remember, or at least close to it. The Monahorne... Monohorn... Monahorn... Iuhno!? was a big disappointment when I went on it again in 2003?(2). It's kinda funny how things are so great when you are little, and when you have an experience with it again after so many years, it comes across as retarded. Like The Brave Little Toaster. I remember us loving this movie as kids. It was wonderfully awesome. So I purchased it. and when I watched it... I'm thinking to myself, this is the worst thing I have ever seen in my life! On the other hand, when you experience something again, and it's even better, or just as good, (but maybe in a different way) that is Uber awesome. Take An American Tale for example. I loved that growing up. It was one of my favorites. And seeing it recently, made me realize how great it is. It is still a great children's type film, (which I usually appreciate) with so many undertones and references to things of relevance and knowledge, I was severely impressed. Well, I hope that I can have more experiences like that tomorrow. Instead of toast I want it to be good. Good company helps too.

Living in color... working for the Man!

so, I have officially avoided doing my homework for about... four hours straight. I was going to sit down and just do my research paper after going to see Everyone's Nobody this evening. But then, I Just didn't. Now I am watching the end of Unfaithful with Shorty. I've never seen this before. Just now. the end. He killed him, and now... they're going home. hmmmm. I'm not a big fan so far. OH! I have Tea brewing! yay. ... mmmmm... I think I should have just done all of this Homework that night right after the class. but, Alas, I didn't. I went home instead. Not my fault though. I had to go with my ride. It really sucks not having my own car. I did however have the use of the Mini Minty Mini Van on Friday, so I got to go to see the Moose Play with Journal. And I got to go to see Everyone's Nobody this evening. Thanks Pie! precitate it! I don't know what I'll do when Pie moves away. My Shneril wants to be a missionary and take the Captain with her. but then I'll need somewhere to live. I need a room mate. I thought I could move into Pie's old room, when he leaves. I'll have to talk to Guy and them about it. So basically, I need someplace to live. I need someplace to live, where I don't have to declare my paycheck. So I don't have to pay taxes, and work doesn't get in trouble with the Man. Hmmmm... Who wants to live with me?

trusting daisy's

I should be letting go of you. -> because you're bad news for me.-> There's something never there-> that really shouldn't be. -> The hate the love and passion-> I felt there in your kiss.-> If it's me you pass on, -> it's only me you'll miss.-> For the love of all that's holy, -> I strain under your thoughts. -> I want to love you solely, -> but I know you love me not.

Loveless you

If I told you that I hate you, -> I'd be almost untrue, -> To say that I'd love to, -> I'm not lying to you, -> I think I want to need you, -> I'd really love to want to, -> But you're not the you, -> You're someone new, -> but who?-->> If I said aloud the loathing, -> It'd never be me you're holding, -> I'm tired of reminiscing, -> Do you recall our kissing? -> I am continually falling, -> feels like I'm always crawling, -> you're not ever calling, -> I'm too scared and stalling, -> after-alling, -->> If I'd just say you're faithless, -> and consider you as weightless, -> I'd know all this here's tasteless, -> and you're really only faceless, -> I'd love you to see you're heartless, -> and come to find that you're a part less, -> You're not flawless, -> simply lawless, -> Love less -> you.

you are an island... I am the raging of the sea...

I know I've said this before... I hate waiting. For phone calls. I think I should just convince myself that he doesn't give a shit. that he's not going to call. Fickin' Rocky... There you go leaving me hanging again. I think I've re convinced myself that, that is what I want. Even though I know that I don't want him. Regardless... him not calling, is a great end to a shitty day. Yes, shitty. I had to rent a car because of Pie's ego. I had to find a gas station that I could use. I had to go to school, to do the OLS training, I had to go to Irvine for a frickin' Furrows field trip, then back to school, then to Laguna Beach for another frickin' Furrows field trip, then back to school to tutor, then another tutoring session. by then I was fried, and I couldn't remember the math I was tutoring. It was pretty bad. Then, I didn't get any homework done, because I had to remember how to do the math, then I couldn't remember how to help Stack in MY program. Then, there is the whole waiting game. stupid. stupid stupid. Now I just want to eat drink and be merry. but I can't, because idiot Pie has all his friends over. I was supposed to make dinner and eat with everyone. But no! He brought his friends, and went to eat with all of them, so I have no food, no friend, no brain. LAME! I like House, but not with all these people around. I want to see Rocky! I need a new obsession. I feel so very blah. Eat and Drink... Drink and Eat... Drink... Watch a chick flick... with a sad ending. cry... break down... make-out... drink...

Roger Dotty Ireaka Base

I think it's funny how people can be so possessive. I mean, it's just stuff. Like Pie, He's got this "new" van, I put a hundred bucks down for it, and he nothing, but he likes it. I need transportation. sure he does now, now that he's run another car to the ground. But, I had to rent a car for tomorrow, because he doesn't want me to drive it. LAME, give me my frickin' money back then. I don't know what to do. LAME! I have lots of places to be. I need to go to the show on Friday, how am I going to get there? The logistics are perfect, for me to drive him, and then go. With his work schedule, I only need the car while he's at work. not before or after. just during. So Stupid. So, I get to sleep on the Hide-a-bed again, and not get enough sleep, because He and Guy keep awkward hours. I really don't like this. I appreciate it, yes, I appreciate that I can stay here. blah blah blah... It doesn't help that I'm starting to freak out about Germany. As you may as well know, I'm a bit of a control freak. Leaf knows this. and so does my family. I don't have any control over this situation. so I've become overly controlling of everything else. or if I'm not controlling the situation, I NEED to know what is going on. and then the tempers run high, and these people think that I'm having a bad attitude. I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON! I don't need to be in complete control, I just need to know that the situation is being controlled. I'm going to have a breakdown soon if things continue on like this. if everyone else is going to have attitude problems, I'm going to get irritated, a bit, and then flip a lid. I bet, I will cry at least once this month. I see it coming. I'm losing all control. I can only pretend so far. I can only make nice for so long. I try, but we'll see. we'll just have to see. Hopefully nothing goes wrong at the rental car place tomorrow. hopefully I can wake up.

Movies at the Bre Rennisance

It's really terrible, being stuck at home. Even thought it's not my home. I've watched three movies on TV. First I watched The New Guy, Then I saw Blazing Saddles, Now I'm watching Psycho. Not too bad. I've also; washed all of the dishes, finished my homework, talked with an old friend, discussed Germany with the White Japanese kid, Cleaned the kitchen, cooked my dinner, ate my dinner, organized the trash and recyclables, straightened the movies, and... made some pretty pictures... Now I'm tired. it's still Friday night, and I've been in all day. Bored, to say the least. now i want to eat, again. And then drink some tea. and no more beer tonight. maybe reorganize my bags. maybe watch another movie. I know the Birds is on next, but I might be too scared to see it. There are alot of movies here. I could play Wii, or Guitar Hero, Or go to sleep. I don't know, I'm just now, staring at the t.v. while typing and not looking at my computer screen. this is a real strange phenomenon. I'll have to spell check for sure. I guess if you actually watch this movie from beginning to end. and stare at it. It's pretty suspenseful. intense. That and I'm on the edge of reason now. starting in on delirium, and all that jazz. I should probably just go to bed. The music doesn't' help much either. hmmm... I dunno!

And sometimes I wish there were fumes...

Wow! I do a lot of waiting. Yesterday, I had to wait, today, most of this week. Right now, I'm waiting for Flexi to finish printing. We have about 3/4 of one. That means... 6 and 1/4 left. and this is Large Format! OH-boy... It wouldn't be that bad, if I still had some other work to do. But I'm just too awesome. I've finished it all already. And I left my Laptop at Pie's today, so I can't even do my Homework. I don't know what homework I have; but that's not really my point. And then there's the whole It's Friday thing. And I have nothing to do. and no vehicle, and Rocky, The Moose, and May are busy, I don't really do anything with anyone else, Pie is working 'till midnight. I guess, I'll just sit here at my desk. and paint my nails, until these signs finish printing, and Pie comes to pick me up. Oh Yeah! Now; should I do a "french" tip, with the brown, or just stripe the light pink?... Seriously, another Friday night, with nothing to do?!...

A sinners decision.

LasVegas, I've never been. I have a trip for four to go to LasVegas Sometime in the next year. And I don't know who to take. Who would enjoy it? OH my Gosh! Leaf? Rocky? The Foreign Kid? JC Champ? Pie? Stack? May? Eliza? The Moose? I dunno! Whoever I take would have to be someone who would enjoy it? There are two shows. And the room is A Suite... Bedrooms, and kitchen, the whole shabang. Then I also have to decide When to go specifically. Next quarter is my last quarter. So I should plan it for after, but not too far after. I might be working for reals. or whomever I decide to take with me. So like that week. Which would be spring break for most of the rest of the world. I don't know. I just don't know. Insight into this would be really helpful. but I don't want to offend anyone. and if I bring it up to someone, and then I don't invite them... Awkward! And what do I do in Vegas. I don't gamble... quite the quandary. And also, who would be appropriate to take. I mean I would love to take Rocky, but considering the past history between us, Leaf would consider that taboo. even though; we are good now. I don't think The Foreign Kid would really enjoy it. and I don't really want Pie to go. I would be uncomfortable with him, in that sort of a situation. So Who do I take? Who, Do, I Take?

and this kids... is your uncle pie...

so this is kinda like having room mates. There are five of us staying in a two bedroom apartment. I have a hide-a-bed, shorty stays on the twin in the living room, Pie has his own room, and Guy and Ruby have their room. not bad. We eat out all the time, and sit around watching TV. Tonight we had Chinese take-out and watched House, followed by the first four episodes of How I Met Your Mother Season 2. good times. Shorty, Pie and I are sharing a bathroom, and we only wash dishes when we have to. I miss my car. my back misses my bed, and my stomach misses my kitchen. even though I live in the dining, it's my room, and I don't have to share it. I don't mind the sharing thing so much anymore. But only for a time. not so much so fast. I think I need to ease into it. I am grateful however for a place to stay while I'm car-less, and for the rides that everyone gives me. It's just nothing here is mine, save for what I brought in my designers bag. and that's not that big. I have my laptop too. Whoop, here it is. But NO food. No breakfast, just Jovy Fruit Rolls, that I have with me. and that will not suffice. Good times. I wonder what we'll eat tomorrow, or if we'll even eat at all. Will May remember me? Will The Hedgehog be there? Will Dom come? Will Rocky show up? Will I even get to eat tomorrow? Are May's friends going to be there again? I need a car. I need transportation by Friday. I have to go to the dentist. I think I can get everywhere else until then... We'll see. How do I feel about a mini-van? Ope... Gotta go, my "room mate's" got to go to sleep.

another waiting game...

I think waiting for a phone call is more intense than waiting for something to happen. At least for me. With a phone call you don't know when it's going to happen. When you're say, waiting for someone to come pick you up, you're only a slave to the dictates of time. Versus, having no time restraints. It's a more calm experience, you're pretty assured of what will happen, and when, how long you'll have to wait. time is half the battle. However, if you're waiting for a certain time, and that time passes, and you're still waiting, that is even more stressful than waiting for something without time restraints. I still hate to wait. I can just handle it, the pressure and all, when I know the timings. Then it's only a tedious task.

I said what about breakfast?

Double dating is really weird. The whole night is awkward... The kind of double dating where, I know you and you know me, but we don't really know each other, so I'll bring a friend, and you bring a friend. Like a blind/double date... but not a date. I find myself trying to break up the awkward silences all night. I'm not good at that, I can pretend, but Not good. And then calling it a night early, that's also awkward. Not as awkward, or in the same way, yet, still awkward. Something else that's awkward; Telling a story without giving out any specific details. I've been trying to relay a "message" to ... Eliza, without actually telling her anything. I can't tell her the names of the people involved. I can't tell the details lest she figure out who... So I say as little as possible, and it just seems awkward. Not in the same way as say, actually talking to those people about those situations, yet still awkward. Eliza, I swear... It's just too difficult, Maybe I should just tell you whats happened. But I swore to he that I wouldn't. Damn my big mouth. I think I'm over it enough to talk about it. but I can't, because he's not. UUUUGH! Sooo difficult!

Who wears short shorts?

I hate waiting. I hate to wait. For Phone calls, for people, appointments, dough to rise, for messages, for water to boil, to fall asleep. Yep, all of it. Like I call Rocky, and He returns my message directly, so I call him back, and He doesn't pick up. If he had called me directly instead of just returning the message, I could have spoken to him, and I would be waiting. I hate to wait. I hope he doesn't forget. That would be detrimental to my psyche, (and my job). I'm also waiting for pizza to cool, so I can eat it. Yesterday, I waited for like 4 hours for a phone call from Pie. He never called. I finally gave up, when the time sensitive material has passed the deadline for knowledge. So I guess it's a no. I got a yes from Rocky. I'm just waiting for an itinerary, or timeline. whatever. Is that pizza cool enough yet?... Cool enough. Don't want to wait anymore. not bad. I like Tom Sellek Pizza.

The words in my ear...

There are some songs that are just enticing for situations. Some Songs speak to a person in an instance so well... it's wonderful. It's also a big pain in the butt sometimes. What if I didn't want to be singing now? Music makes people happy, Why would I want to be singing right now? Even thought the song fits the situation perfectly? I have play lists dedicated to some of those instances. Like the one I have dedicated to songs that make me think of a situation with a certain person. It is full of songs from all ranges. I add some during all sorts of moods. If I'm feeling good about it, they tend to be happy, or hopeful. When I'm not feeling too good about it, they tend to be heartbreaking. And whatnot. Looking at it, when I'm in neither specific mood about it; it looks really sporadic, and is a really sucky play list... Now, there are songs that are just fun, and could never really speak to a situation. like; Keep Young And Beautiful by Annie Lennox. It has no really meaning in any real life. it's just fun. It's your duty to be Beautiful. Well, maybe it does, and I've just never had it. So, it doesn't pertain specifically to my life. I like this whole shuffle the music thing. Though it can be quite frustrating. like when you're in a certain mood, and they are only playing commercials and opposite songs on the radio. NEXT! And of course I don't put really specific names on my play lists, so I sometimes add songs to the wrong ones, and when I'm then in that mood, I go to that play list, and there's this song that doesn't fit. It makes me angry, a little. only a little. it's not getting what you're expecting. To hear Ozzy Osbourne when you're expecting Jewel, throws you a bit. it's like smelling cinnamon and all these great smells cooking in the kitchen, and then having Meat pie for dinner. It's highly disappointing. Highly. Or when you're expecting something to be really Heavy, and you go to pick it up, and end up throwing it, because it's way too light. Not that I've had any experience with that. All in all... I don't really know. I like this song... "Someone to Die for... In this endless night... someone like you..."

cut, load, repeat.

You know what really blows? When your vehicle malfunctions. Seriously. It screws EVERYTHING up. I am loosing sleep, because it's kinked up my schedule so much. Awful, just awful. I had things to do, that I can't do now, because my cars not working. My mom and the Captain are going to be gone most of next week too. and I need to have transportation. I have an orthodontist appointment, and school, and work, and first Saturday. And, and, and...

Ugh! And then there's the whole having to pay for the repairs. Not a pretty fun time. Not at all. Of course, there is also the rest of stresses of life to make those experiences even worse. Homework, school, classes, tests, deadlines, work, life tasks, eating, the gym, maintaining friendships, and all the other stuff one must do to keep sane. all these together, really help to cause insanity. fun times fun times. Of course, now you may be asking why? why? why are some of these things listed as stress factors. Well, let me tell you; Let's take the "maintaining friendships" item, for instance. Friendships, as we well know, are a type of relationship. and all relationships require work. It would be helpful if both sides would work at it, but this is not always the case. people as a rule, tend to be very self-centered. so it takes someone to step outside themselves to be a true friend to others. I have been deemed this person in most cases. What am I saying. Being Rocky's friend is a lot of work, and strain, and is very stressful, it's what's the word... frustrating to say the least. but there is a history there, to account for some of the frustrating awkwardness that comes from his end. but still. therefore, friendships can be stressful. not always, but they do make the list. Work is also very stressful. Even the lack of having work to do, is stressful. Waiting around is stressful, because, then, I have time to think. I get to think about all the other stress filled things in my life, JOY! like now, I have nothing to do, but wait for vinyl to cut, so I'm writing a blog... there it is... and cut! and wait... this is great fun. Yay! 14 down, 12 to go... but then what? I'm the only on here. I don't think that's cutting right... Oh bother! That would be wonderful, then I'll have nothing to do... and cut! reload, cut! now we're 15 to 11. bbbblllllppppptttt!